Most of my players had no new instructions from the Big Club's front office. They would just go home -- to their hometowns all over America, Mexico and the Caribbean -- and wait for further word about where to report next year. I knew how they felt. And I knew that several of them would just get a letter saying that they had been released.For some of these boys, Bluefield would be the beginning, and the end, of their careers as professional ball players.All their War Stories about Life as a Pro would have to come from those few wispy summer memories of dusty ballparks in West Virginia or Tennessee.Three of my guys were promoted elsewhere to play out the waning days of the current season -- two to Hagerstown in the Carolina League, and one happy youngster who was sent up all the way to Bowie, Maryland, in Double-A. For that kid, it had been a very successful season.I said goodbye to each young man, individually -- some of them in my third-rate Spanish -- and twenty-four hours after. And I know it's a fake smile because I can see her lips trembling. I reach out and touch her face gently, hand shaking. And my heart is pounding so hard in my chest it's all I can hear, because I love her so much it is killing me. And I'm too weak to pretend it isn't anymore.I love her, oh God I love her.I bring my lips to hers, and they're so soft it makes me swoon. And then I get this awful churning in my gut because it wasn't supposed to be like this. She wasn't supposed to find out.I pull away and practically run to the door, and my hand's on the knob when I hear, "Sam?" and I can't walk away, I can't ignore that voice.And she's coming up behind me and I really wish she wouldn't, because I feel like a wild a****l and I don't want to hurt her. My shoulders are shaking and I'm trying to hold myself back, but all I can feel, all I can see is kissing her again. Her hand touches my shoulder softly and I snap. I back her up against the wall and anchor my lips to her again.Her hands are.
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